Mitsuko Souma had died. Physically? Just a moment ago. Mentally? Ages ago.
how can you suck dick like that? there’s no vacuum. his face is always gonna have a draft. you can smell his breath on every side of his face. this nigga can’t be near water no more, he’d drown trying wash his face. he ain’t never gonna replenish his thirst. smh i wish him the best.
I’m doing an easter egg hunt for my cousins and someone is gettin a meatball
OH MY GOD
…I’m not touching that pizza…
perfect gif usage
today a customer asked me for a “medium whatever” and then got frustrated with me when i asked him what he meant
this is it
this is the post that 100% accurately describes working with the public
Dad: “cmon son, say your first words!”
Dad: “close! try again!”
Dad: “So close! One more time!”
Son: “daft punk”
Remember my pet caterpillar Shane? Found him at church during a sermon about Satan XD. He was such a fun pet in his larval stage. He used to love to swing from my hair.
Then everything changed when he pupated. He never touched me. He just spent several months looking and acting like a turd
But it was worth it! Look at him now! He’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!! And the friendly disposition has returned! He sits on my shoulder watching The Sing Off with me. Also, he’s a she! and she just laid eggs! I can’t wait for the 2nd generation!
this dude got his own pokemon
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